Navigating Sustainable Shopping, Body Image Shifts, and Money
CW: The following comic discusses the topics of body image, negative body image, and size. It is an account of my personal and individual experience as a mid-size/smaller plus-size person, and is not intended to be a complete representation of all mid-size or plus-size individuals, as that wouldn’t be possible. I would like to also acknowledge that despite my experience detailed in this comic, I still have a lot of size privilege as someone who has been mid-size for the majority of my life. If any of these topics are triggering or not something you want to think about, feel free to skip this one!
1. I’ve always loved expressing myself through my fashion choices. When I was in high school I started thrifting regularly, loving the unique and special pieces I could find after hours of digging.
2. Of course, thrifting was also economical. When I started working and going to college, I could afford to get myself a couple new (to me) pieces a month.
3. I also knew about the environmental benefits of buying secondhand over new. Since I first started thrifting I’ve learned a lot more about the impacts of fast fashion on the environment and people, especially women. Shopping sustainably became even more meaningful and important to me.
4. One major tenet of sustainable fashion is being conscious of your consumption- whether new or second-hand- and focusing on caring for and re-wearing the clothes you already have.
5. This idea of having pieces in your wardrobe that can stay with you for 1, 5, 10 plus years is one I remember also being expressed in the fashion magazines I sometimes read in high school. Articles touted the value of the designer pieces they were selling by detailing the low cost-per-wear in the long run, the craftsmanship, and timelessness of the pieces, sure to last through finicky trend cycles.
6. Even though I couldn’t afford new designer pieces (or even new fast fashion), I knew these principles still applied to clothing I thrifted. There were so many secondhand pieces I acquired that I saw myself wearing for the rest of my adulthood. If I got clothing I knew I’d love and wear for years to come, then I’d have to worry even less about the cost of clothing.
7. But there was always something I felt was getting in the way of my goals for a unique, sustainable wardrobe that would stand the test of time: My body.
8. It seemed that whenever I was at a point with my wardrobe where I had the right amount and mix of clothing to go through life with, my body no longer fit into that wardrobe.
9. Each time this happened I would have an emotional meltdown that was a result of a lifetime of being conditioned to base my value on my proximity to thinness and the frustration at the prospect of having to clear out my closet to find new clothes I would like as much.
10. Multiple times I kept clothing that no longer fit me in the hopes that I would eventually get back to the size I used to be in order to wear it again. Even though I knew this wasn’t good for my mental health, other reasons I held onto clothes for years past being able to wear them included the sentimental value they held, the amazing condition they were still in, or the uniqueness of them that I still loved and didn’t think I could find again
11. After many years of going through the same cycle and being worn down by the way I was talking to myself about my body, I started working more consciously on being kind to myself and not feeling guilty about buying new clothes that fit me when I needed to.
12. Having grown up with popular culture telling me that it was a moral failure to gain weight (it’s not), it can still be difficult not to return to old habits of berating myself when my clothes no longer fit me.
13. I also struggle with the financial implications. In addition to the process of repeatedly replacing my wardrobe being emotionally taxing, I have to be very intentional with my limited budget.
14. I can save money by thrifting, but it feels a lot harder to find pieces I love that also fit me. Finding curated vintage sellers online with a selection that includes my size also proves to be difficult. If I shop sustainable brands that I know have inclusive sizing, then I have to be very strategic with my budget.
15. I still don’t have all the answers I’m looking for, but learning to put my mental, emotional, and financial health first while on my sustainable fashion journey is something that I’m prioritizing nowadays. Bodies change, and I am absolutely worthy of having a wardrobe that fits me, that I feel comfortable and confident in, and that is as sustainable as I am able to make it. Clothes should fit me, not the other way around.
Written and Illustrated by: Marissa Elena (they/she)